Is Your Relationship Out Of Control?

June 22nd, 2008 by piavetrano

By Tim Connor There are numerous challenges, circumstances, people and issues that can have both a positive and negative impact on the quality of a relationship. Here are some of the common ones that can place external demands on a relationship thereby causing it to lose some of its intimacy, integrity, passion and even interest. -Children -In-laws -Careers -Outside interests -Friends -Money or the lack of it -Stress Having said this I want to make it clear that the issues in the previous paragraph are not part of relationships. Let me explain. Intimacy and integrity are not in relationships. Relationships are neutral entities. For example, if integrity has left a relationship it is not because it is no longer in the relationship it is because it has left one or both of the people in it. Why then do the items in the above list cause people to lose some of these feelings, attitudes, beliefs or behaviors? Most of our society lives their life out-side in rather than inside-out. This means that most people have turned the responsibility for their happiness, success, inner peace and behaviors over to the outside world. Just watch someone re-act to a careless driver who has cut them off or an insensitive friend who has just leveled a criticism. Most people let other people or outside circumstances determine the quality of their conversation, thinking and often even their beliefs. When something happens in your life that you dont like, dont want, you didnt anticipate or troubles you - typically outside-in people have to point the finger at someone or something else they seldom bring the learning back to themselves. This tends to relieve them of any responsibility for personal growth or change. Then there are inside-out people. These people understand that everything in their life is about them and their personal control. They take full responsibility for their reactions, responses, feelings, behaviors and actions. These people never blame, criticize, judge, invalidate or manipulate others. Their simple life philosophy is that whatever happens in their life comes to them as a teacher to help them grow, mature, learn and understand themselves and their world. Back to our list. If you are an outside-in person many of the items in this list will tend to cause you angst or stress you out therefore causing you to respond in some way that may have a negative impact on your relationship. You may strike out at your partner or withdraw from them. You may sulk or play emotional games. There are a myriad of ways in which people learn to deal with people and circumstances they cant control. Imagine for a moment that you have two outside-in people in a relationship together. Chaos will rule. Emotional turmoil will be the standard by which they treat each other. Growth will not occur and egos will rule the day. If one of the partners in a relationship is outside-in and the other inside-out, the inside-out person will always be trying to help the other see the light often in vain. If the outside-in person is unwilling to grow emotionally eventually the inside-out person may soon tire of trying and develop some of the same tactics of the outside-in person withdrawal, finding other interests that permit them to avoid their partner. The key to a successful relationship is the ability to discuss openly and honestly without personal agendas any issue that may be having a negative impact on the relationship. If you cant do this then you both may as well learn to enjoy your solitude. Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; Soft Sell, Thats Life, Peace Of Mind, 91 Challenges Managers Face Today and Your First Year In Sales. He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his website at http://www.timconnor.com. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tim_Connor http://EzineArticles.com/?Is-Your-Relationship-Out-Of-Control?&id=321218 bad credit money loans bad credit medical loan i want to broker personal loans cash advance america

Barbeque Rub Basics

June 19th, 2008 by piavetrano

By Aaron Ralston Barbecue Rub Basics Barbeque rubs basically consist of combinations of your favorite spice flavors, designed to enhance the flavor of the meat you are cooking. These flavors are basically the ones that you can taste, including salt, sweet, sour, and bitter. When you are creating a rub, keep in mind that most people do not like to eat food that is overpowered by seasoning. The purpose of a rub is to compliment the natural taste of the meat. Making a good rub takes lots of practice and experimenting. For example, slightly reducing the amount of onion powder or increasing the amount of cayenne in a rub will change the flavor of the rub dramatically. Trial and error is the key to developing a rub that tastes good. To make a rub, begin by combining salt and sugar; usually in equal amounts: lets say 1/4 cup of each. Depending on the sweetness you are looking for, many sugars work well. A few examples are Turbinado, white, and brown sugar. They each have different properties that you may want in a rub. Turbinado sugar will not burn as fast as brown sugar, but it adds a very distinct, unrefined flavor to a rub. Brown sugar is great on ribs, but be careful, too much brown sugar will create a burnt crust on smoked ribs if you do not know what your are doing. Different salts also work well. A few examples include plain table salt, sea salt, and kosher salt. Next, a great ingredient to add is paprika. It has a mild flavor, and it will also help you achieve a dark-reddish color in the rub. Add about 1/4 cup of paprika. You have built the base for the rub. Most rubs that I have created or read about always start out with sugar, salt, and paprika. There are many different spices that are available for you to add to your rub. I have listed a few basic ones below, but the best thing to do is to get your hands on as many as possible and experiment by mixing different combinations and amounts of each. You will eventually learn what combinations you like more. Now you can start building the flavors of the rub. First, determine what you are going to use the rub on. A pork rub will be different than a chicken rub. You might also want to make the rub spicy or sweet, it just depends on what flavor you are looking to add to the meat. Trial and error play a big part in developing rubs that taste good and will not overpower the meat. Below are a few herbs and spices that work well in rubs: Garlic powder, Onion powder, Cumin, Oregano, Comino, Cayenne, Black Pepper, Red Pepper (Cayenne), White Pepper, Mustard Powder Add the ingredients you choose a little at a time, and then test the rub to see how the flavor changed. With a little experimentation, you will develop a personal rub that tastes very good. You can find a few rub recipes at my website listed below. The Smoker King Aaron Ralston, also known as The Smoker King, is the owner of Outdoor Cooking: Barbeque, Sauces, Mops, Rubs at http://www.thesmokerking.com Check out thesmokerking.com today to learn many great barbeque and cooking recipes and techniques. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Aaron_Ralston http://EzineArticles.com/?Barbeque-Rub-Basics&id=124382 ky law against cash advances my super quick loan secrets original payday game instructions payday debit cards

The Importance Of Using Electric Wheelchairs To Improve Mobility

June 15th, 2008 by piavetrano

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Mike_Yeager] Mike Yeager No person likes to feel housebound and dependent on others. While people who have been injured or suffering from a debilitating disease may not have full functionality of their motor skills, it is still possible for them to be semi-independent and mobile. It cant be over emphasized how critical that sense of independence can be. Quality, dependable Electric Wheelchairs are the means of transportation that many people choose as their way to get around. There are so many different Electric Wheelchairs available on the market that its hard to know where to start. Here are some suggestion when looking at different Electric Wheelchairs: * Pediatric electric wheelchairs are generally deigned to be mobile and safe for young users. * Heavy duty Electric Wheelchairs are for large patients that weigh more than average yet require the ability to get around. * Some electric wheelchairs come with reclining backs and others can be easily folded to fit into a standard car trunk. While Electric Wheelchairs are an adjustment for the user they do provide that person with the ability to get around and maintain some, or even all of their independence. About The Author Mike Yeager, Publisher [http://www.a1-medical-supplies-4u.com/productpage/wheelchairs.html ] http://www.a1-medical-supplies-4u.com/productpage/wheelchairs.html [mailto:mjy610@hotmail.com] mjy610@hotmail.com Article Source: [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Mike_Yeager ] http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Yeager [http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Importance-Of-Using-Electric-Wheelchairs-To-Improve-Mobility&id=19118 ] http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Importance-Of-Using-Electric-Wheelchairs-To-Improve-Mobility&id=19118 hard money loan personal garentte loan unsecured personal loan australia cash advance questions

I’m So In Love, So Why Am I Depressed?

June 7th, 2008 by piavetrano

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Ive waited so long for love to come into my life, yet now that its here, Im depressed. I cant figure this out, complained Elayne in one of our phone counseling sessions. Todd is really terrific. Hes all Ive been wanting in a man open, caring, and emotionally available. I really think there is something wrong with me. When did you start to feel depressed? I asked. Well, I think it started last week right after we spent a wonderful weekend together. What happened after the weekend? It was Sunday evening. We had just come back from an early dinner, and Todd wanted to watch a movie with me on TV. I told him that I wanted to go to the gym because I hadnt worked out in a few days. He sounded disappointed in not watching the movie with me, so I didnt go to the gym. I stayed and watched the movie with him because I didnt want him to feel hurt and rejected. And thats when you started to feel depressed? Yes. Can it really be because I didnt go to the gym? Well, I said, Its not exactly because you didnt go to the gym. You probably enjoyed watching the movie with him, right? Right! A part of me did want to watch the movie with him, because I do love being with him. Thats why I cant figure this out. Elayne, I think that the problem is that you make Todds feelings and needs more important than your feelings and needs. You gave yourself up to Todd out of fear of his upset feelings. I dont think you would have been depressed if you had decided that you really wanted to watch the movie with Todd more than you wanted to go to the gym. But it doesnt sound like you took the time to go inside to see what you really wanted. What were you afraid would have happened if you had gone to the gym? I was afraid that he would be angry at me and withdraw from me. So you were willing to lose yourself rather than risk losing him, is that right? Yes, thats exactly what I did. So controlling his feelings and behavior was more important than taking loving care of yourself? Yeah, I guess so. I didnt realize that I was trying to control him by not going to the gym, but I can see that that is exactly what I was doing. So, imagine that your feelings and needs are a child within you, and Todds feelings and needs are a child within him. If you put aside your child to take care of his child, how is your child going to feel? Oh, I see! I feel depressed because I gave myself up and put my child aside to take care of his child! Wow, this relationship stuff is hard! I also feel trapped and resentful, like Todd is somehow not letting me do what I want to do. And as soon as I didnt go to the gym, which is what I really wanted to do, I didnt feel very attracted to him. Right. And Todd may have been trying to control you with his disappointment. Has he felt rejected and hurt in the past when you didnt do what he wanted? Yes, he does this sometimes. I hate it when he feels like that. Now I can see that he is trying to control me with his hurt, and Im trying to control him by giving myself up. I can also see that this is not going to work well. Elayne decided to talk with Todd about what she had learned. Fortunately, Todd was very open to understanding his own behavior as well as Elaynes. Elayne made the decision to risk letting go of responsibility for Todds feelings and take responsibility for her own feelings and needs. Elaynes depression quickly vanished as she started to take loving care of herself. Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” and Healing Your Aloneness. She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions Available. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Margaret_Paul,_Ph.D. http://EzineArticles.com/?Im-So-In-Love,-So-Why-Am-I-Depressed?&id=89596 documents fax payday loans christmas same day cash advance buy appliances utah county monthly payments no credit check loans with no credit check

You Need A Workout: Weight Loss Happens Easier With It

June 1st, 2008 by piavetrano

By Ben Shar With a workout, weight loss will be much more successful. If you dread the term exercise, then don’t call it that. You can easily find a type of movement and physical activity that you enjoy. As long as you are moving, you’ll be able to burn calories and then drop the weight, too. There are a number of reasons that you need a workout, though. The type of workout is just as important as actually getting into the gym. You may be surprised by what you should be doing. With a workout, weight loss happens for a number of reasons. If you are doing aerobic exercise, working out helps you to burn calories, which in turn helps you to burn stored fat and therefore lose weight. But, consider if you were doing a workout that required you to do some light weight lifting. Now, things change a bit. With this type of weight loss, you’ll be increasing muscle which is essential for effective weight loss because it allows you to lose weight faster. Muscle burns through fat faster, helping you to drop the pounds easier. Even women can workout using a weight lifting program without having to worry about building huge muscles. That’s not the goal and it won’t happen. Instead, a combination of a workout with light weight lifting coupled with effective aerobics will help you to drop the pounds faster. You do need a workout, weight loss without it just is too slow to notice and to keep you motivated. Take the time to develop a plan of attack with your workout. Weight loss through working out is one of the best ways to lose the weight and to keep it off. Plan on doing aerobics 3 times per week for 20 minutes and the other two days get to the gym for a workout in weight training. You’ll love the way you look, faster. Start Burning Body Fat NOW! Discover How To Lose 14 Pounds in only 7 Days! Visit http://www.lose-weight-1.info for more information. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ben_Shar http://EzineArticles.com/?You-Need-A-Workout:–Weight-Loss-Happens-Easier-With-It&id=400885 online loan calculators guareenteed payday loans local one day course in loan orginator la hard money commercial loan application

International Cooking Schools

May 29th, 2008 by piavetrano

By Kevin Stith International cooking schools are increasingly becoming popular as more and more people are taking up culinary skills seriously. Choosing the right international cooking school is a decision that should not be taken lightly. There are several factors involved in the entire process of going to an international cooking school. For instance, one has to check whether a particular cooking school focuses on specialty food careers or on regional cooking. With the culinary field fast emerging as an industry by itself, fortunately there are a number of good international cooking schools available. Deciding on the perfect international cooking school is half the battle won. So, before you put on your chef hat and get cooking, do homework about the potential international schools and then arrive at a final decision. One can locate culinary schools through online directories. Most of the international cooking schools have comprehensive web sites that can help you learn in detail about their curriculum. It is always preferable that you check an international school in person. This way you will have a fair idea about the entire infrastructure available on the campus and details regarding the various facilities on offer. Check out the faculty who are available in particular international cooking schools. Qualified and industry experienced faculty mean that you will learn more. One good way to find out about a particular international cooking school is to talk to the alumni. Once you hear from the horse’s mouth, you will definitely have more than a good idea about the credentials of a particular school. International cooking schools are on the increase because most chefs who start their careers are able to find work in their field immediately. The basic law of supply and demand can be seen working here. Since people will always need food, chefs also will always be in demand. Cooking Schools provides detailed information on Cooking Schools, French Cooking Schools, Italian Cooking Schools, Vegan Cooking Schools and more. Cooking Schools is affiliated with Top Film Schools. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kevin_Stith http://EzineArticles.com/?International-Cooking-Schools&id=429123 bad credit business loan pay day loans gone bad- washington state fast cash card payday loans regardless of teletrack report

My Son Has A Stiff Back When He Gets Up in the Morning - Is It Ankylosing Spondylitis?

May 26th, 2008 by piavetrano

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Nathan_Wei] Nathan Wei Ankylosing Spondylitis is one of the more common forms of arthritis affecting about 0.5% of the population. It affects men more often than women in a ratio of about 2.4-5:1. The disease is categorized as a “spondyloarthropathy”… a type of arthritis that preferentially affects the spine. It usually starts in the sacroiliac joints- the joints that join the pelvis to the low back- and spreads upwards to involve the rest of the spine. Peak age of onset is between 15 and 30 years. Typically, a patient will complain of stiffness in the low back or neck or both that is worse with rest and better with activity. Often, a young person will pursue sports as a way to relieve the pain they have! Stiffness during the day after inactivity is also common. Other joints affected include the hip, knee, wrists, shoulders, elbows, and ankles. Typically, patients will have not only joint symptoms but they will also have enthesopathy… meaning inflammation at points where tendons connect to bones. Fatigue is a very common symptom. Occasionally low grade fever, appetite loss, and weight loss may be seen. Patients will sometimes present with the extra-articular (outside of the joint) symptoms. Examples include inflammation of the eye, lungs, and rarely, the heart. The most common extra-articular symptom is eye inflammation which occurs in about 40% of patients and must be diagnosed and treated aggressively. Blindness is a dreaded complication. The physical exam will show limitation of range of motion in the low back. Chest expansion is also restricted since many patients with AS will have limited ability to expand their lungs due to involvement of the thoracic spine. Occasionally, women with AS will have more symptoms in the neck than the low back. Laboratory testing will show abnormalities that indicate the presence of inflammation. Patients with AS will also have the genetic marker HLA B27 in about 90% of cases. Imaging studies such as magnetic resonance imaging will show the presence of inflammation in the sacroiliac joints. Inflammation of the tendon insertions at different affected joints will also be evident. Treatment goals consist of relieving pain and stiffness as well as maintaining function. A comprehensive program consists of a combination of anti-inflammatory medicines to help with symptoms as well as disease-modifying therapy to slow down the rate of progression. Examples of anti-inflammatory drugs are drugs such as ibuprofen (Motrin), naproxen (Naprosys), nabumetone (Relafen), etodolac (Lodine), meloxicam (Mobic), and celecoxib (Celebrex). Disease-modifying drugs that are used extensively for this condition are sulfasalazine (Azulfidine) and methotrexate. Biologic therapies like etanercept (Enbrel), adalimumab (Humnira), and infliximab (Remcade) are considered important for inducing remission. A solid program of physical therapy to help with range of motion is also mandatory. For patients with suspected eye disease, close supervision by an experienced ophthalmologist is also recommended. Patients with far-advanced disease may suffer complications including compression of the spinal cord (cauda equina syndrome), and fractures of the neck. In particular, care should be exercised in preparing patients with AS for surgery. Intubation (placing a breathing tube into the airways) for general anesthesia carries the risk of inadvertent spine fracture. Surgery is reserved for far advanced cases that have not responded to medical therapy. The clinical course and prognosis is highly variable and also highly dependent on the rapidity of diagnosis and the effectiveness of therapy. Dr. Wei (pronounced way) is a board-certified rheumatologist and Clinical Director of the nationally respected Arthritis and Osteoporosis Center of Maryland. He is a Clinical Assistant Professor of Medicine at the University of Maryland School of Medicine and has served as a consultant to the Arthritis Branch of the National Institutes of Health. He is a Fellow of the American College of Rheumatology and the American College of Physicians. For more information on arthritis and related conditions, go to: [http://www.arthritis-treatment-and-relief.com/types-of-arthritis.html] Types of Arthritis Article Source: [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Nathan_Wei ] http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathan_Wei [http://ezinearticles.com/?My-Son-Has-A-Stiff-Back-When-He-Gets-Up-in-the-Morning---Is-It--Ankylosing-Spondylitis?&id=86332 ] http://EzineArticles.com/?My-Son-Has-A-Stiff-Back-When-He-Gets-Up-in-the-Morning—Is-It–Ankylosing-Spondylitis?&id=86332 payday loans ct bad credit installment loan lenders for autofinancing bad credit payday loan mesa arizona

Chosing A Best Man For Your Marriage

May 17th, 2008 by piavetrano

By Eric Hartwell The celebration of a wedding is normally a family event. Thus, it is not surprising to find that most of the attendees in any wedding consist of relatives from both sides of the bride and the groom. It is even more traditional that people who are part of the wedding entourage are either the brother, sister, cousin, niece or nephew of the couple to be wed. For the ladies, the most coveted position is to be chosen as the maid of honor since the person picked is one whom the bride considers to be her closest or best friend. Then there are also the bridesmaids and flower girls to complete the ensemble. On the mens side, the equivalent position of the maid of honor is the best man. The other members of the wedding entourage are the page boys and the ring bearer. Generally, it is the groom who will decide who he wants to be his best man. It is very rare that the best man is chosen by another person. The grooms final choice for best man will usually be one of his male best friends. Given that a wedding is a reunion of family and friends, it is natural that the groom would want his best friend to share in his joy at the occasion. Aside from his closest male friend, the groom may also pick his brother to fill the role of the best man. Sometimes, the groom may choose a person who is neither his best friend nor his brother, but someone who is responsible for introducing him to his bride-to-be. In rare cases, the groom may even decide to have a female best person. Traditionally, the best man should be single since he will also be actively participating in the wedding preparation, hence this can be time-consuming. This is not to say that single people have time on their hands! However, it is now acceptable that a married person become the best man. In this case, the groom as well as bride can benefit from the wisdom that will be imparted by a married best man as regards starting and building a family. Eric Hartwell oversees “The World’s Best Homepage” intended to be a user-generated resource where YOUR opinion counts. Anybody can contribute and all are welcomed. Visit us to read, comment upon or share opinions on weddings and getting married and visit our associated site articles for free. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Eric_Hartwell http://EzineArticles.com/?Chosing-A-Best-Man-For-Your-Marriage&id=517407 getting a home equity loan with poor credit hard money jumbo loans personal loan interest rate personal loans with your automobile as collateral

Relationship: Leave the Baggage Behind

May 14th, 2008 by piavetrano

By Julia Jones It is really, really heavy! Yes the baggage of the past we carry along with us when we plan to start all over again. Let not the baggage of the past over burden you in the present. Live in the present and leave the baggage behind to start afresh. A past is a past, forget it and move forward. But is it that easy to forget the past? The pain one undergoes due to a heart break surpasses all the physical pains. A pain is never so hurting than a pain caused by a broken relationship. Life becomes miserable and you find it very hard to start all over again. A heart break not only affects you emotionally but also physically. But you have no medicine for that and the only remedy is to cry out your emotions for once and forget all the pain you underwent. Begin a new life with no signs of bitterness. All of us at times think about the past and obstruct others from entering into our heart. We are so much gripped in our past that we create a fence around us not letting somebody enter in our heart. Let this not happen. Dust out the negative feelings and keep the doors of your heart open for you never know a better partner is waiting for you. After a break up generally people fear to face the same situation in a new relationship. You should learn to not let your past ruin the present by merely thinking about it. Let loose your past and feel like a free bird to fly into a new horizon. You do not have to jump into a new relationship but give yourself time. Indulge yourself into things you have never done and always wanted to do. Learn to dance, to play a piano do something creative that pleases your heart. Something that makes you live again. Try helping others, if you can help charity organization. You can do something individually. There are innumerable ways to keep you busy and engrossed. When busy you automatically forget your past and are focused in the present. Keeping yourself busy heals you very fast. There is so much to be done that you do not remember the past. Get out of that depressed mood and experience the different phases of life. There is always much to be done in life. You just have to look around. There is a lot of work that requires your helping hand and a lot of other people who need you. You need to be with them without bothering them and yourself with your past. Be brave and courageous to forget the past and live in the present. Forgive and forget what happened. Unless you forgive the person you cannot forget the past. Although it is difficult to forgive yet it is satisfying. You have the satisfaction of not being the dark horse in the relationship and have the hope of starting a new relationship without a failure. We at Keepcondom.com are providing you the choices you can make, to select your condom brands according to your needs. Keepcondom.com Find more information visit: Relationship: Leave the Baggage Behind Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Julia_Jones http://EzineArticles.com/?Relationship:-Leave-the-Baggage-Behind&id=366175 home loan online directory of georgia payday loans bonds no credit check ca personal cash loans

Can This Relationship Be Helped?

May 9th, 2008 by piavetrano

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. I have been counseling couples for 35 years. Quite often individuals come in for help wondering if it is really possible to save or improve their relationship. Perhaps their partner is totally uninterested in working on the relationship. Perhaps their partner is an alcoholic or drug addict. What are their chances of saving their relationship? Since two people always get together at their common level of woundedness, here is what I say to the partner who has sought my help: As long as you choose to remain in this relationship, there are things for you to learn. Each partner contributes their 100% to the relationship. While it is often easy to see what your partner is doing that is harmful to the relationship, it is often difficult to see what you are doing. Yet until you learn about your part in this relationship system, you will take your own dysfunctional behavior with you into another relationship. Its generally a waste of time - unless there is physical abuse - to leave a relationship before healing your own end of the system. The time to leave is when you have learned to make yourself happy regardless of what your mate is doing. When you learn to take 100% responsibility for your own feelings and needs, and if your partner is still behaving in ways that are unacceptable to you, then its time to leave. You need to discover how to respond to your partner in ways that are loving to yourself and that support your own joy and highest good. When the partner who is available to counseling does his or her inner work, one of two things happen. Either the other partner likes what is happening and becomes more open, or the relationship becomes more distant and difficult. I tell my clients that it is a 50-50 deal - half the time things get better and half the time they get worse. They need to be okay with either outcome. If fact, I encourage them to let go of the outcome and just be in the process of learning how to take loving care of themselves. Lets take some examples. Craig is unhappy in his marriage because his wife, Gloria, is often angry and judgmental toward him. Craig sees himself as the victim of Glorias unloving behavior, blaming her for his unhappiness. However, Craig is a equal part of the relationship system. He generally reacts to Glorias anger with compliance, giving himself up in his covert attempt to control Glorias anger. He believes that being a nice guy will control her feelings and behavior. So, while Gloria is attempting to overtly control Craig, Craig is attempting to covertly control Gloria. Until Craig starts to speak his truth rather than give himself up as his form of control, he will feel resentful and distant with Gloria. If he has the courage to take loving care of himself by speaking his total truth without blame or judgment, and take loving action for himself based on his truth, then either things will get better or they will get worse. The only way Craig will be able to be honest and take care of himself is if he is willing to lose Gloria rather than continue to lose himself. Marilyn is married to Martin, a non-abusive functioning alcoholic. The problem for Marilyn is that when Martin drinks, which is every night, he completely disconnects from her and she feel very lonely with him. Shes tried in many ways to get Martin to connect to her, but nothing has worked. Most nights, Marilyn just watches TV, feeling sad and alone. Until Marilyn decides to do whatever she needs to do to make herself happy, nothing will change. If she decides to take classes, get together with friends, join a support group or go to Alanon, she will no longer be a victim of Martins decision to withdraw through alcohol. If Marilyn continues to take care of herself over a time - six months to a year - and nothing changes, then she can decide to leave. Or, she can decide to stay and just continue making herself happy. The possibility also exist that when Marilyn stops pulling on Martin to make her happy, he may decide to deal with himself rather than be left alone most of the time. Can this relationship be helped? Maybe. Do your own inner work and find out! About The Author Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available. margaret@innerbonding.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Margaret_Paul,_Ph.D. http://EzineArticles.com/?Can-This-Relationship-Be-Helped?&id=16549 hard money lenders in virginia merchant cash advances are increasingly popular among business owners installment payday loan long term personal loans for poor bad loans